How to Advise Family on Sinning?

Question: If my family indulges in bid'ah, my sister dresses without modesty, my mother curses some of the Sahabah. Some don’t wake up for Fajr, and I don’t wake them up because they will either go back to sleep or argue, will I be held accountable for them? Do I have to debate them and argue?

Summary:

We ask Allah to guide your family to the truth, rectify their affairs, and grant you strength and patience in advising them. Continue to be a beacon of good character and gentle advice, and know that Allah is aware of your efforts.

Answer:

We congratulate you for your commitment to the Deen of Allah and your concern for your family’s guidance. May Allah ease your affairs and grant you steadfastness.

First and foremost, if your family engages in acts of bid'ah, your sister does not observe proper hijab, your mother curses the Sahabah, and some family members miss Fajr, it is your responsibility to advise them kindly and gently. Allah commands us to enjoin good and forbid evil, but it must be done with wisdom and good manners.

Your Role in Advising:

1. Advise with Compassion:

    Your role is to remind them with compassion and patience, not to engage in arguments that may lead to hostility.

    2. Waking for Fajr:

      If you fear that waking them up for Fajr would cause them to curse or argue, and you are certain this will happen, you are not accountable for that.

      3. Cursing the Sahabah:

        It is a serious matter and prohibited by the consensus of scholars. If you can advise without causing greater harm, you should do so. If it escalates, it is permissible to leave the gathering to avoid hearing such speech.

        4. Lead by Example:

          Be patient with your family, make sincere du'a for their guidance, and lead by example with good character. Sometimes, it is through patience and beautiful manners that hearts are softened, and change occurs.

          And Allah knows best.

          ← Back to Questions