Is it Permissible to Strike One’s Wife
Question: can we strike our wives.
Summary:
• Islam does not permit violence and harm. • The verse, al Nisaʾ 34, mentioned steps to regulate the marital relationship, and “striking” in it cannot be harmful or humiliating, and it is restricted by strict constraints. • The Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ and the conduct of the Salaf guide to gentleness and dignity, and the Prophet ﷺ did not strike his wives. • In our time, complete refraining from striking is the practical duty, and seeking civil and legal paths of reform is better and more assured.
Answer:
In the name of Allah, all praise is due to Allah, and may Peace and Blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)
First, the Qur’anic foundation
From the Qur'an:
- al Nisa: 34
" Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women...And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺. But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great."
This verse came within the framework of family rulings, and what is mentioned in it of steps, advice, leaving in the bed, then striking, is familiar in the Arabic language, and the scholars needed to clarify the meaning of “striking” and how it is applied according to the Sharia.
Second, a general principle and fundamental rule Islam does not permit causing harm, and the comprehensive proof is his saying ﷺ,
From the Sunnah:
- Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 7376, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 2318aNarrated by Jarir bin `Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him):
"Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind.""
and the principle of customary kindness and gentleness which the Qur’an and the Sunnah commanded. Likewise the conduct of the Prophet ﷺ was mercy toward women, we do not know of him that he ever struck a woman at all. The essence of the religion urges the preservation of rights and human dignity.
Third, the exegeses of the scholars and the method of the Salaf • The method of the Salaf and the scholars in interpreting the verse of arrogance, they agreed that striking is not an ordinary behavior available for harm, rather it is the last resort after advice, admonition, and leaving in the bed, and their regulating interpretation was, symbolic striking that is non harmful, without violence and without physical marks. • Some of the Salaf said it is permissible to have light, deterring striking that does not wound and does not leave a mark, and others preferred interpreting the word with the meaning of “leaving” or “reproach,” due to the strong prohibition of injustice. • The practical consensus of the Salaf, the Prophet ﷺ did not abuse his wives, and the prophetic incidents teach gentleness, forbearance, and forgiveness. Fourth, the wisdom of legislation and its legal constraints Even among those who permitted “limited striking,” they set strict constraints that prevent sliding into violence, 1. That striking is the last step after advice and leaving in the bed. 2. That it is non harmful, no wound, no break, no disfiguring mark. 3. That it does not include humiliation or degradation of the wife. 4. That its aim is reform, not revenge. 5. The historical indication that the Prophet ﷺ did not practice striking his wives, and that he condemned those who contrive harm. Fifth, the practical position and contemporary awareness In our contemporary reality, and with the understanding of the sanctity of the body and human rights, the best and what is commanded by the Sharia and by ethics is complete refraining from striking, and dealing with advice, dialogue, consultation, reconciliation, and resorting to the judiciary or to people of authority if reform becomes difficult. If the matter reaches the point of impossibility, then the available and more prudent legal solution is separation, divorce or khulʿ, according to interest and without aggression.
And Allah knows best.
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