Delaying the Niqab Due to a Mother’s Opposition and Fear of Family Discord

Question: Salam wa alakium, I recently found out that niqab is mandatory and not just encouraged and I would like to put it on, however, my mom is against it and does not believe hijab itself is mandatory so much so that when I wore it, she got very upset with me. I’ve tried bringing it up to her but even mentioning it to her gets her upset, I know that wearing it will cause fitnah in my household and she will likely not just get upset with me but my brother as well because he’s part of the reason I found out its mandatory. I’m planning on wearing it once I get married that way I dont cause fitnah in my household now, but as we know tomorrow is not promised and I dont want to be in a state in which Allah is not pleased with. What should I do?

Summary:

• The niqab is obligatory according to those among Ahl al-Sunnah for whom the evidence is preponderant. • There is no obedience to parents in abandoning an obligation, while maintaining righteousness and kindness toward them. • Temporary postponement is permissible when there is fear of real fitnah and harm not as something lawful, but as a temporary inability. • The belief in its obligation must remain, along with a sincere resolve to act upon it once the excuse is removed.

Answer:

In the name of Allah, all praise is due to Allah, and may Peace and Blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)

First: The established Islamic principle, about which there is no dispute among Ahl al-Sunnah:

Obedience to Allah takes precedence over obedience to parents.

From the Qur'an:

  • [Luqman: 15]
    "But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness"

    We have a firmly established Salafi principle:

From the Sunnah:

  • Authenticated by Shaykh al-Albānī in Hidāyat al-Ruwāt.From al-Nawwās ibn Samʿān al-Anṣārī رضي الله عنه, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
    “There is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator.”

    So if the obligation of niqab is established according to those for whom the evidence is strongest, then it is not permissible to abandon it because of the mother’s objection, while maintaining righteousness and kindness. For those who hold it to be obligatory, hijab and niqab are not matters of taste or custom rather, they are acts of worship and obedience.

Among those who held this view: Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn al-Qayyim, Shaykh Ibn Bāz, Shaykh Ibn ʿUthaymīn, and Shaykh al-Albānī (despite differing regarding obligation, he does not deny its legitimacy). None of these scholars considered the pleasure of relatives to be a justification for abandoning an obligation.

From the Sunnah:

  • Reported by al-Tirmidhī and Ibn Ḥibbān, and authenticated by Shaykh al-Albānī in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Targhīb.From ʿĀ’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), the Prophet ﷺ said:
    “Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah while displeasing the people, Allah will be pleased with him and will cause the people to be pleased with him. And whoever seeks the pleasure of the people while displeasing Allah, Allah will be displeased with him and will cause the people to be displeased with him.”
  • Reported by Ibn Mājah and authenticated by Shaykh al-Albānī.And he ﷺ said, from ʿUbādah ibn al-Ṣāmit رضي الله عنه:
    “There is no harm and no reciprocating harm.”

    The Shariah balances between adherence and preventing fitnah neither through false prohibition nor through surrendering obligations. From the words of some of the Salaf: Some of the Salaf said: “If you know the truth, do not feel lonely because of the small number of those who follow it.”

From the Salaf:

  • Imam Ahmad said:
    “I am amazed at one who knows the chain of narration and its authenticity, yet goes to the opinion of Sufyān!”

    So how about one who abandons a text because of the anger of a relative? Third: Applying the ruling to the questioner’s situation (and here lies wisdom) The issue is not: Do you please your mother or not? Rather, it is: How do you obey Allah while showing the greatest level of righteousness and the least amount of fitnah? This situation requires precise distinction: • If leaving the niqab is only a temporary postponement with no denial of the ruling, no deeming the abandonment lawful, and no acceptance of falsehood but due to fear of confirmed and severe fitnah (severing ties, serious harm, oppression of the brother, etc.), then some scholars consider her excused for temporary delay while maintaining sincere resolve not as something lawful, but as temporary inability.

From the Qur'an:

  • Surah At-Taghabun - 16
    "So fear Allah as much as you are able"

    But it is not permissible for her to: • Say that niqab is not obligatory • Be pleased with her mother’s denial • Make marriage a condition for obedience Because death does not wait for marriage, nor for the approval of a mother who denies an obligation.

What must she do practically? A. Hold firmly to the belief in its obligation in her heart, without compromise. B. Adhere to full Islamic hijab as much as possible looser, more concealing, farther from adornment even if she is not wearing niqab yet. C. Display great righteousness toward her mother: service, gentleness, patience, avoiding argument and provocation for this is the strongest silent daʿwah. D. Increase in supplication: “O Allah, guide my mother, turn her heart to the truth, and do not make obedience to You a cause for severing ties.” E. Once fear and harm are removed, she should wear it immediately without hesitation and without waiting for any worldly event. Fourth: A decisive word (with wisdom) Her mother will not benefit her on the Day of Judgment. But her righteousness toward her mother benefits her in this world and the next. So do not make: Righteousness = abandoning obligations And do not make: Commitment = bad character A gentle statement to be said to the mother with righteousness and wisdom, without argument: “My beloved mother, by Allah, I never wanted to disobey you or make you angry, and you are the greatest of people in my eyes in right and worthiness of kindness. But I fear Allah just as I fear hurting you. My religion taught me to obey Him while being good to you, not against you. My clothing is not a challenge to you nor a belittling of your status; rather, it is an act of obedience by which I seek Allah’s pleasure, and I hope with it for your pleasure as well. I promise you that I will be as you love: righteous, serving you, gentle, and praying for you. If I fall short in anything, then remind me. I ask Allah to unite my heart and your heart upon goodness and not make my obedience to Him a cause of your sadness.” Important notes before saying this: It is said only once, in a very calm tone, with no debate afterward. Then the matter is left to actions, not words. The Salaf used to consider good character in obedience greater than excessive argumentation over the truth. Niqab is obligatory according to those for whom the evidence is preponderant. It is not permissible to abandon it to please creation. Temporary postponement is permissible in real inability, not in desire. With continued resolve and belief. The questioner must believe in the obligation of niqab and not abandon it to please anyone. It is permissible for her to temporarily delay wearing it if she fears real and substantial fitnah and harm, while adhering to full Islamic hijab, maintaining righteousness toward her mother, and holding a sincere resolve to wear it once the excuse is removed. It is not permissible for her to deem the abandonment lawful nor to condition obedience upon marriage.

And Allah knows best.

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