Dealing with a Relative Married to an Atheist

Question: my aunt married three years ago to a man she met quickly, then got engaged and married him. Because her marriage was “non-traditional,” a few of my uncles opposed it, but my grandfather approved, as did my grandmother, my aunts, and my father. As years passed, we noticed that my aunt’s husband is not truly Muslim but rather atheist or close to irreligious, though he is respectful toward religion and all that. Over time my aunt began to drift away from Islam, removed her hijab, and barely prays anymore. She still calls herself Muslim, but we all know she is Muslim only by name. This caused different reactions in the family. Two of my uncles cut ties with her and her husband completely and never dealt with them, while the rest did not oppose or sever ties. My father stopped speaking to her at first, but later felt guilty and believed we must maintain kinship ties. So he traveled to the United States, settled there with her and her husband, and became close to them, especially to my aunt’s husband. He would visit us occasionally, and I met him and spoke with him. He likes me and wants a strong relationship with our family in particular. I am now confused and torn, should I treat him like my uncle even though he is atheist and act normally with him, or will I be sinful if I do that.

Summary:

• Your aunt’s marriage to an atheist is invalid in Islam. • She must be advised wisely and gently and prayed for. • She should not be hated because of family ties, but one must not be pleased with her sin. • It is permissible to treat him with courtesy without heartfelt affection or approval of his beliefs. • Be cautious not to compromise in matters of loyalty and disavowal, and let your intention be daʿwah, not social politeness. We ask Allah the Exalted to rectify your aunt’s condition and her husband’s, to open their hearts to Islam, and to keep you firm upon the truth and guidance.

Answer:

In the name of Allah, all praise is due to Allah, and may Peace and Blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)

We ask Allah to keep you firm upon the truth, to guide your aunt and her husband, and to unite the hearts of your family upon obedience to Allah and His pleasure.

First: The ruling on marriage to a non-Muslim

The marriage that occurred between your aunt and that man is invalid in Islamic law if the man is not Muslim, because Allah the Exalted said clearly,

From the Qur'an:

  • al-Baqarah: 221
    "...And do not marry your women to polytheistic men until they believe..."
  • al-Mumtahanah: 10
    "...then do not send them back to the disbelievers..."

    The scholars have unanimously agreed that a Muslim woman is never permitted to be under a disbeliever in any situation

From the Scholars:

  • Ibn al-Mundhir said
    “All the scholars we know of have agreed that a disbeliever has no marriage with a Muslim woman under any circumstances.”

So if your aunt’s husband is atheist or does not believe in Allah and His Messenger ﷺ, the contract between them is invalid, and she must separate from him immediately if he does not repent to Allah and enter Islam. Second: Your family’s stance toward your aunt From your description, your aunt’s faith and commitment have weakened, likely influenced by her husband. She now needs prayer, gentle advice, and compassion, not complete abandonment. Allah the Exalted said,

From the Qur'an:

  • al-Nahl: 125
    "Invite ˹all˺ to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and kind advice, and only debate with them in the best manner..."

From the Sunnah:

  • Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 2942, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 2406Narrated by Sahl ibn Saʿd (may Allah be pleased with him):
    "...If a single person embraces Islam at your hands (i.e. through you), that will be better for you than the red camels."

Thus, your father and the family should maintain kinship ties without compromising religion, meaning they keep the connection for the sake of reform and advice, not out of heartfelt affection or approval of wrongdoing.

From the Qur'an:

  • al-Mumtahanah: 8
    "Allah does not forbid you from dealing kindly and fairly with those who have neither fought nor driven you out of your homes. Surely Allah loves those who are fair."
  • al-Mumtahanah: 9
    "Allah only forbids you from befriending those who have fought you for ˹your˺ faith, driven you out of your homes, or supported ˹others˺ in doing so. And whoever takes them as friends, then it is they who are the ˹true˺ wrongdoers."

    Meaning that kindness and fair treatment are allowed with a peaceful non-Muslim, but love and inner loyalty are forbidden.

Third: Your personal stance toward your aunt’s husband: If the man is atheist and has not declared Islam, then he is not your “uncle” in Islamic law, because his marriage to your aunt is invalid. However, there is no sin upon you to treat him respectfully and with good manners if he is peaceful and not harmful, especially if you hope that this might lead him to Islam. Yet you must be careful not to develop heartfelt affection, accept his beliefs, or participate with him in anything sinful or in compromise of the religion.

From the Qur'an:

  • al-Mujadilah: 22
    "You will never find a people who ˹truly˺ believe in Allah and the Last Day loyal to those who defy Allah and His Messenger..."

From the Scholars:

  • Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله said,
    “Dealing kindly and doing good is one thing, but love and alliance are another. The first is permissible, even required, while the second is forbidden.”

Fourth: Balancing kindness and loyalty: If you treat him with polite speech, visits, and moderate courtesy hoping to soften his heart or prevent harm, there is no issue, and this is the allowed kindness. But if your interaction leads to compromise in faith, acceptance of his condition, or negligence in matters of halal and haram, then it is not permitted.

And Allah knows best.

← Back to Questions