Is It Obligatory to Work in My Father's Business Instead of Taking a Better-Paying Job?
Question: Assalāmu ʿalaykum wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh. I am 15 years old and live with my parents. My father owns a sweet shop and wants me to work there for about 6 hours a day, 4 days a week. The work does not interfere with my prayers, my health, or my studies. My concern is that the pay is lower than what I could likely earn at another job. Is it obligatory for me to obey my father and work at his shop in this situation, or is this considered a personal matter where I may respectfully decline and seek work elsewhere? May Allah reward you.
Summary:
If working in your father's shop does not cause you to neglect an obligation, commit anything prohibited, or harm your religion, health, or studies, and your father needs your help or believes it is in the family's best interest, then obeying him in this matter is part of dutifulness and kindness toward one's parents. This takes precedence over leaving his employment merely to seek a higher wage. However, if your father is not in need of your help, did not command you in a binding manner, and you have another lawful job that offers a greater benefit, then there is no sin in politely and kindly excusing yourself while doing your best to please him. The basic principle is that obedience to parents is obligatory only in what is right, and a child is not required to give up every personal interest when doing so is not necessary to avoid being undutiful.
Answer:
Allah has commanded dutifulness and kindness toward one's parents. He, the Exalted, says:
From the Qur'an:
- (Surah Al-Isra, 17:23)
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents."
- (Surah Al-Isra, 17:24)
"And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy."
- (Surah Luqman, 31:15)
"But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness."
Even when parents call their child to shirk, they are not to be obeyed in that, yet they are still to be treated kindly. Therefore, it is even more appropriate to show kindness to them in permissible worldly matters.
From the Sunnah:
- Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, and authenticated by Shaykh al-Albani.It is authentically reported from Abdullah bin Umar that the Prophet ﷺ said:
"The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the father, and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of the father."
- It is also reported in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih MuslimFrom Ali bin Abi Talib that the Prophet ﷺ said:
"Obedience is only in what is right."
This hadith establishes an important principle: whatever parents command that is good, does not involve disobedience to Allah, and does not cause significant harm, then honoring and obeying them in that matter is among the greatest acts of worship.
Is it permissible to leave your father's employment simply for a higher salary? The mere fact that another job pays more does not automatically make it preferable to decline your father's request. Rather, all of the relevant interests should be considered. If your father needs your help in his shop, would be harmed by your absence, or believes that your working with him benefits both you and the family, and the work does not harm you, then it is better and in some cases it may become particularly emphasized that you obey him and seek your reward from Allah. Dutifulness to one's parents carries a greater reward than many worldly financial gains. On the other hand, if your father does not need your help, can manage without you, and you have another lawful job that provides a genuine benefit, then there is no sin in discussing the matter with him gently, seeking his approval, and doing your best to convince him without disrespect, raising your voice, or being harsh.
From the Scholars:
- Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله said:
"Obedience to one's parents is required in every permissible matter that benefits them and does not harm the child."
- Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله also said:
"It is obligatory for a person to obey his parents in matters other than disobedience to Allah, even if they are sinful. This is the apparent implication of Imam Ahmad's general statement. This applies to matters that benefit the parents and involve no harm. If it is difficult for the child but not harmful, then obedience is obligatory; otherwise, it is not."
End quote from Al-Fatawa al-Kubra (5/381).
"Obedience to one's parents is obligatory in matters other than disobedience to Allah when they benefit from it and it causes no harm to the child." "And if a father commands his son to do something that benefits the father and does not harm the son, then the son should obey him, because this is part of dutifulness toward him." Based on what you have described in your question: The work is permissible. It does not affect your prayer. It does not affect your studies. It does not affect your health. The only reason for leaving is the possibility of earning a higher wage elsewhere. In most cases, this is not considered a sufficient excuse to refuse what your father has requested, especially if he needs your assistance or finds comfort in having you work with him. Conclusion: The basic ruling in your situation is that you should obey your father and work with him, seeking Allah's reward through dutifulness toward him, so long as the work is permissible, does not lead you into sin, and does not harm your religion, health, or studies. However, if your father is not in need of your help and you have another lawful job that offers a stronger benefit, then you may politely excuse yourself while striving to maintain his pleasure. Dutifulness to parents is not limited to fulfilling every request they make; rather, it is achieved through treating them kindly, showing humility toward them, avoiding undutifulness, and obeying them in what is right according to one's ability.
And Allah knows best.
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