Is a Father Accountable if His Daughter Reaches Puberty and Does Not Wear Hijab, and Is It Sufficient for Him to Tell Her That It Is Obligatory?
Question: Salam wa alakium,is a father held accountable for his daughter who is over the age of puberty not wearing hijab? If he has told her it is waijb has he done his part? JazakAllahu Khairun
Summary:
Once a girl reaches puberty, the Shariah hijab becomes obligatory upon her, and she is accountable for abandoning it because she has become legally responsible. However, the father is also responsible for taking care of her. He must teach her that hijab is obligatory, command her to wear it, advise her, repeatedly counsel her, and prevent the wrongdoing according to his ability and with wisdom. It is therefore not sufficient for him to tell her once, “Hijab is obligatory,” and then leave the matter and pay no further attention to it while he is still able to advise and guide her. If, however, he does what he is able to do in terms of teaching, commanding, advising, and objecting to the wrongdoing, and he takes the legislated means, but his adult daughter still insists on abandoning hijab, then the sin of abandoning hijab is upon her. The father does not bear her sin if he has fulfilled what Allah has obligated upon him according to his ability. Allah تعالى says: “Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.” [Al-Baqarah: 286]
Answer:
First: The father is responsible for the members of his household
From the Qur'an:
- [At-Tahrim: 6]
“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.”
This verse indicates that a Muslim is commanded to teach his family, command them to obey Allah, and prohibit them from disobeying Him.
From the Sunnah:
- Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.Abdullah ibn Umar رضي الله عنهما reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock... A man is a shepherd over the members of his household, and he is responsible for them.”
A father’s responsibility does not end merely because his daughter has reached puberty. Rather, he remains commanded to advise her, guide her, and enjoin what is good among the members of his household according to his ability.
Second: What must the father do if his daughter abandons hijab?
From the Sunnah:
- Narrated by Muslim.Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri رضي الله عنه reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand. If he is unable to do so, then with his tongue. If he is unable to do so, then with his heart.”
Accordingly, the father does what he is able to do according to the Shariah. He explains to her that hijab is obligatory, commands her to wear it, reminds her of Allah, explains to her the danger of tabarruj, continues to advise her with wisdom and gentleness, and uses the permissible means of upbringing that are expected to benefit her, without oppression or transgression.
Third: Is it sufficient for him to tell her once that hijab is obligatory? Merely informing her once does not necessarily mean that he has fulfilled everything required of him, especially if he sees his daughter continuing to abandon hijab while he is still able to advise and guide her. This is very clear from the words of the scholars رحمهم الله when explaining the statement of Allah تعالى: “Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire.” They stated that this is done through mutual advice, enjoining what is good, and forbidding what is evil. Shaykh Ibn Baz رحمه الله spoke regarding the obligation of protecting oneself and one’s family from the Fire.
From the Scholars:
- He رحمه الله said, when explaining the chapter concerning the obligation of commanding one’s family and children to obey Allah,
That it is obligatory upon the head of a household to take care of his family concerning what Allah has obligated.
He mentioned that the family includes “the wife, daughters, and sisters,” and that protecting them is done through guidance, discipline, instruction, enjoining what is good, and forbidding what is evil.
- He رحمه الله also said, in advice to fathers and mothers concerning guiding their children:
“It is obligatory upon the father to take care of the children and guide them.”
He explained that this includes both males and females.
Fourth: If the father advises her and she persists, is he sinful? Here, a distinction must be made between the daughter’s sin and the father’s responsibility. Once the daughter reaches puberty, she becomes legally responsible. If she abandons hijab while knowing that it is obligatory, then she bears the sin of her own disobedience. As for the father, he is accountable for what Allah has obligated upon him in terms of care, advice, commanding what is good, and forbidding what is evil according to his ability. If he does what he is able to do, continues advising and guiding her, does not approve of her disobedience, and does not assist her in it, but she still does not respond to him, then he is not held accountable for what is beyond his ability.
From the Qur'an:
- [Al-Baqarah: 286]
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.”
From the Scholars:
- For this reason, when Shaykh Ibn Baz رحمه الله was asked, in a fatwa entitled, “What is the advice for someone who finds difficulty in advising his relatives?”
He advised continuing to counsel them, encourage them toward obedience to Allah, warn them against sins, and seek the assistance of relatives and people of knowledge who may be able to influence them.
Conclusion: An adult daughter is responsible before Allah for her hijab, while the father is responsible for fulfilling his duty of care toward her. It is therefore not sufficient for him merely to tell her that hijab is obligatory and then neglect the matter. Rather, he must command her, advise her, repeatedly guide her, and object to her abandoning hijab according to his ability and with wisdom. If he does what he is able to do, does not approve of her disobedience, and she then insists, despite being an adult, on abandoning hijab, then the sin of abandoning hijab is upon her. The father is not held accountable for what he was unable to change after fulfilling what Allah obligated upon him.
And Allah knows best.
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