How Can I Find a Righteous Spouse Upon the Aqeedah of the Salaf?
Question: Asalamualykum Wa rahmatulahi Wa baraqatuhu Shykh. May Allah bless and reward you and your family. I am a muslimah studying in malaysia, and have recently convinced my parents regarding marriage. However, My aqeedah is of the aqeedah of Salaf As Saliheen and people upon this aqeedah is but a few, especially in Malaysia where they follow the Asha'ri creed. Allah Musta'an. I wanted to ask you whether you would be able to give me advices on where i can look for spouses upon the correct aqeedah, especially in Malaysia and stay steadfast during this trial of staying single until Allah wills marriage for me. BarakAllah Feekum wa Jazakallahu Khairan Ya Shykh. Asalamualykum Wa rahmatulahi Wa baraqatuhu.
Summary:
We advise the questioning sister to fear Allah, be patient, and remain firm upon the creed of the righteous Salaf. She should make the first criterion in choosing a husband his religion, uprightness, and soundness of creed, not merely nationality, country, or degree. She should search for a righteous husband through trustworthy Salafi mosques, students of knowledge known for uprightness, and righteous families, while asking the people of knowledge about the suitor before accepting him. As for delayed marriage, it is not evidence of deprivation or Allah's anger. Rather, it may be good for the servant. She should hold firmly to dua, seeking help from Allah, and having good thoughts of Him, for Allah, the Exalted, says: Allah, the Exalted, says: "Perhaps you dislike something while it is good for you." (Al Baqarah: 216)
Answer:
You should know that the greatest quality sought in a husband is religion, uprightness, and soundness of creed
From the Sunnah:
- Reported by al-Tirmidhi (and the people of knowledge graded it hasan.)
The Prophet ﷺ said: "If there comes to you one whose religion and character you are pleased with, then marry him."
The Salaf used to give precedence to righteousness in religion over all other qualities, because a husband with correct creed helps his wife upon obedience to Allah and protects his household and children from deviation and innovations.
From the Scholars:
- Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Marry her to one who fears Allah; if he loves her, he will honor her, and if he dislikes her, he will not wrong her."
Second: Where should you look for a righteous husband? Among the beneficial means are: Contacting the people of knowledge known for the Sunnah and the correct methodology. Asking trustworthy sisters from among the female students of knowledge. Benefiting from upright families known for adhering to the Sunnah. Attending reliable Islamic lessons and lectures for women. Seeking help from the father or guardian in asking and investigating about young men known for uprightness. It is not sufficient for a man to merely claim Salafiyyah by name. Rather, one must look at: His preservation of prayer. His good character. His dutifulness to his parents. His distance from extremism and disputes. His uprightness in dealings and trustworthiness.
From the Scholars:
- Imam al-Awzai (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Keep yourself patient upon the Sunnah, and stop where the people stopped."
Third: How can you remain firm if marriage is delayed? Know that marriage is provision from Allah, just as wealth and children are provision.
From the Qur'an:
- Surah ad-Dhariyat (22)
"And in the heaven is your provision and whatever you are promised."
- Surah at-Talaq (2-3)
"And whoever fears Allah, He will make for him a way out, and will provide for him from where he does not expect."
So do not make your sole concern marriage. Rather, make your concern the pleasure of Allah and firmness upon the truth, for whoever leaves something for Allah, Allah replaces it with something better than it.
From the Scholars:
- Shaykh al-Islam Ahmad ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"What can my enemies do to me? My paradise and my garden are in my chest."
This indicates that the true happiness of the believer lies in iman and nearness to Allah.
Among the greatest causes of firmness are: Abundant dua. Maintaining the adhkar. Keeping company with righteous sisters. Occupying oneself with Islamic knowledge. Lowering the gaze and staying away from causes of temptation. Having good thoughts of Allah and not despairing. Final Answer: What is obligatory upon you is to hold firmly to the creed of the righteous Salaf and not compromise religion due to haste in marriage, while taking the lawful means in searching for a righteous husband through the people of knowledge, upright families, and trustworthy people. Delay in marriage is a trial that requires patience and seeking reward. Whoever fears Allah, remains patient, and hopes for what is with Him, Allah will not allow his reward to be lost, and He may grant him goodness and relief beyond what he wished and hoped for.
And Allah knows best.
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